Things Unsaid.

There are so many things that I wish to say to you... But I never got the courage to say so. Until this day, those words still stayed. I never let it out because even if I do, things aren't the same, and if I don't, I'll still regret. So in my heart it'll stay.

How are you? How have you been after we parted ways? I had trouble sleeping for days, but then I got over it after a while. Sometimes you crossed my mind, considering you're my first ever love, and whatever we went through when we were together remained a beautiful memory inside of me. It is hard not to let a tear fall every time you crossed my mind, and it is also hard not to sing along to our songs happily without feeling a terrible heartache at the same time.

I'm happy that you've finally moved on and even had feelings for another. When I knew it, I was heart broken, but then I had someone else too, and it's just unfair to forbid you to have happiness. It hurts a lot when you threw your focus on someone else when it was once mine. I had a hard time adjusting to that, but thanks to you, I'm a stronger person now. :)

Sometimes I remembered our old promises and laughed reminiscing those days we had. It was indeed beautiful, where you and I were so in love we couldn't let each others gaze go away even for a moment. The thing that I had always loved about you was that you loved me just the way I was even though there were so many more beautiful people compared to me. The friendship we had moved step by step and that's another thing I loved about you. You always take things slowly, giving us both time to think and be comfortable with each other. How I miss having you around.

Now that we're older, I start to see so many things differently. I already had what I wanted now, and I threw it all away. I was stupid, I was foolish - but just like you ; I'm also searching for that one special love. You were never to be blamed, because you were perfect just the way you are. I was greedy, and I chose greed over your love. You have every right to hurt me, and I've already received my punishments. Losing you for good was already enough to kill me. And to make things worse, I lost you for a jerk. I'm sorry is all I can say, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Just so you know, if I could undo all of these, I'd do it, not because I had a life that suck, but because now I know you're worth so much more than all of these and I'd love you all over again without a doubt. You were my soul mate and I missed it.

So wherever you are, I wish you blissful happiness whoever you're with. :) I hope love life goes so much better for you. Sometimes I still miss you, but I can't live in our memories forever. I won't be doing the same mistake I did so long time ago, and I'm trying my best to embrace him whenever I can. Because of what you taught me about love, now I know we can't expect all the people we love to love us the same way. And I've learned what I'm worth, and they'll wait like you if they really meant their love. :) Thank you for one of the greatest lesson in life you've given me.

No matter who I'm with now, don't forget you'll always be a part of me. :) Not as the person I love anymore, but as a beautiful memory that will never be erased and they'll have to accept me for that. For when there was no you, there won't be the person I am today. I miss you, but I don't wish for you to come back. Just wish me love and luck like I do to you, and your blessings would already be enough. If someday we've already twisted and turned to every direction, but we're still single and in need of each others company again, I'd be more than happy to give us another shot. Hehehe. :D

Goodbye for now, love. :) Be happy, be safe.